Lately, I've been getting tons of private
messages from Facebook friends, concerned text messages from high school and
college friends and random calls from Titas and Ninangs around the world who
are altogether asking why I just decided to quit the job “they dream of”—or put
in Andy’s words from the movie Devil Wears Prada, I had the job “million girls
would kill for.”
Just two years ago, I landed a job as the professional
magazine writer that I've always wanted to be. It was a childhood dream that
was manifested back when I was 5 years old where the support
of both my so-called “stage-parents,” coupled with my “I am a princess”
philosophy and my penchant for being in the spotlight, finally got the best of
me when I turned 19.
I graduated from college and took the job as
an entertainment, fashion & beauty writer under One Mega Group Inc.—where working
my way up didn't feel like working at all. Except, of course, those midnights
in the office I rushed articles until I could feel my blood turn into caffeine.
But this dream job gotten me to “Wonderland”
and had me rubbing elbows with celebrities, directors, fashion designers,
models and business owners, sitting at the front row in concerts, wining and
dining in newly-opened bars and bistros and gastropubs, and getting dolled-up by
the same makeup artists of the stars just so I could attend a grand ball in a five-star
hotel—just so I could do my...yes, job.
It would always feel like cloud-nine after
every event I would go to. But then in just a matter of seconds, I am faced by
the fact that my designer gown fades and I turn back into my casual shirt-and-jeans and a pair of tsinelas only to ride a dyipney and a tricycle on the way home.
Perhaps, a Cinderella story.
I felt like living two lives—I was living the life of the rich and famous, but in reality, I
couldn’t even afford one-fourth of it. Maybe not even one-eighth.
My little salary could barely pay for H&M—let
alone Jimmy Choo! Kamusta naman ‘di ba?
But the freebies and gift certificates from
the job helped lessen the pressures that come with being in the ‘editorial’
world. I would suddenly receive skincare products, makeup samples, VIP tickets to
shows, boxes of cake every now and then from the brands I featured, and
invitations to the most exclusive celebrity events—which, the biggest if it all
was the Asian cruise vacation with together with a family of “gutz-y” celebrities.
And just lately, I was given the chance to rise from ‘print’ to ‘television’
through an episode appearance for “I Am Meg” that airs on ETC.
And at the height of such a frenzied life, I
quit.
But that decision wasn't overnight, alright.
It happened slowly. Early before I even
entered this “Wonderland,” I have already decided to myself what success is to
me.
I promised myself reinvention and improvement
every two years. I promised not to stop learning… to take every opportunity to
be the best that I can be. I decided that I don’t ever want to be the same old
person for too long, I want to constantly change. But not to the point that people wouldn't recognize me anymore, I just simply want to improve.
I also promised myself to never to correlate
success with the perks I have, but to measure success by the impact I am making
to people’s lives while I grow more as a person. Because years ago, when Papa
passed away, I made a mutual agreement with my God that my ministry is my
career and my career is my ministry—no matter what my job is.
To those asking, I quit my job, so that I
could focus on my career.
But, those two years in Mega was definitely a
learning experience—an experience I will forever be proud of. This is where I found Hazel Paras version 2.0!
This is where I
first learned how to be an employee. This is where I figured out how to approach
celebrities and get them to actually chat with me. This is where I got my
first pay. This is where I first stressed ‘til 4am in the office beating
deadline after deadlines. This is where I first felt how it was like to be promoted. This is
where I've first seen my name published on the pages of magazines and finally,
just for once, seen myself appear on television for a straight whole segment.
My resignation did not mean the end of my
life in media. I will always be in media. This is the territory and ministry God
has given me.
But I've come to the point of realizing that
if I want to fight bigger battles and if I want to level up my career, I would
have to equip myself better.
And by the desire to equip myself better, I've decided to spend the next two years of my life, studying for a Master’s degree in
Integrated Marketing Communication, so that I could take on bigger responsibilities
for the next company where I will be of service to. And perhaps, find a closer
way to become the “Strategic Branding Director” I've always wanted to be since I started in college.
Of course, equipping myself better will not be only
limited “career-wise,” for I also aim to equip myself to
become better, as, simply put…a woman and as a child of God...learning the ropes of housekeeping and also, keeping myself active in the church ministry, where my DNA tuns so strongly.
Since my classes will be scheduled ONLY Saturdays, I know I’ll be at home more than ever. That is definitely the best time and opportunity to give back to my Mom and sister by preparing them meals and doing
their laundry as well....while on the side, I’d be reading big Branding Communication
books and typing a 2,500-worded campaign-proposal homework.
I can't wait to see how life would turn out the next two years. I can't wait to find out what God has in store for me, the challenges and the blessings altogether.
Change is always a scary thing. Reinvention
is always risky. And just like your iPhones, I am also upgrading my own “iOs”
to—Hazel Paras version 3.0!
