Harley Quinn VS. Holy Queen

Harley Quinn was a character meant to show you, ladies, what you should NOT be. That was the real intention of the movie--to show you what you should not be. Sadly, I see most of your posts with the hashtag #RelationshipGoals as if you romanticize over the inexcusable abusive relationship of the Joker and Harley Quinn. I don't want to be "Tita mode" over here and be all "masyadong serious" but at the same time, I just don't want us to take domestic violence so lightly. 

There are real women out there who have spent years being abused, manipulated and humiliated by their significant others. Not just talking about physical abuse here. Also, emotional abuse. Signs of which are when they regularly put you down, devalue your opinions, point out your flaws and blame you for everything wrong. This isn't a place where you should be. Get out as fast as you can. Don't be "hyponitized" to thinking that violence is acceptable and "sexy." It just ISN'T. 

You are NOT meant to be treated like HARLEY QUINN. You are meant to be treated like a HOLY QUEEN! 

#SuicideSquad
#BeAPriscillaToday

Things You Need to Know About Introverts Like Me

YES! I am an introvert. Pramis nga.

Photo by Johan Andrew Ocampo

And it took me (like) about 23 years for me to discover that I am not the extrovert that I've always believed myself to be.

So now, whenever I tell people "I'm an introvert"--all I usually get as a response are doubtful smirks that almost feel like "WEH?" or sarcastic laughs that very much tell me "WHATEVER, ZEL."

But again, YES. I am an introvert. And there are so many (misunderstood) people like me who are very comfortable in public speaking and being friendly with various types of people...but are the same time, introverts.

And if you find yourself having close friends who are my type of introverts, these are the things you'll need to be aware of to understand them (well, us) better:

I think the first thing you'll need to know is...

1. INTROVERT AND SHYNESS ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS.

I'm not shy. In Tagalog, wala akong hiya. Haha!

I can be the giggling, talkative, bubbly girl who dances at random places and at random times. Okay, you get the picture. And I’m not afraid of people, BUT being around too many people for too long always leaves me feeling drained. When I talk to many people, I can be my real best energetic self, but when I get home, I drop dead. As in like a dead battery!

Sometimes, when I hangout with too many people for toooooooooooo long, I run out of energy and spiral into silence and my mind is already doing other stuff...like, I don't know. Probably contemplating about life or something to that effect.

I discovered that I was the type of person who needed "purpose" for every interaction I make. Which leads me to my second point.

2. INTROVERTS LIKE ME LOVE CONVERSATIONS, BUT HATE SMALL TALK.

As much as my witty-self loves joking around (I mean I love puns and I have my kulit-likot-daldal moments), I have to be honest that introverts like me prefer REAL conversations with REAL substance rather than just small talk that are just full of 'banats' 'joke-joking' and stuff. I didn't mean it like we love to be "serious", but we just love to have a purposeful time with people. We're (over) thinkers and we get energized by heavier conversations about life, you know....ideas, life goals, theories....

We're good listeners and most of us are great at giving advices. In my case, I've noticed that in every interview I make (especially back in my magazine-days), I've always had that strength to transform a chit-chat interview into a real life talk ala Boy Abunda, where the people I interview suddenly open up their life views, up to their tear-jerking feelings and their past stories to me. 

Just as I love reading books and discovering stories, I also love interviewing people and discovering their real stories.

Basically, I love substance!


3. WE CAN HAVE AS MANY FRIENDS AS WE WANT, BUT WE REALLY HAVE FEW ONES WE TRUST AND KEEP CLOSE

I can be chummy with everybody so easily but it honestly really takes a little more while for me to really bring down my walls and be open to someone and trust them with my feelings, thoughts and opinions. It's like we are NOT anti-social but we're probably selectively-social.

It takes a little more warming up for me to really be open.


4. INTROVERTS LIKE ME DON'T GET BORED ALONE. AT ALL.

My mind is a very VERY twisted place. If you go inside my mind, it is probably exploding with colors, ideas, random thoughts, life questions, memories, imaginations, choreographies, unicorns and weird stuff. In most of my friends' words to describe me: "malikot ang utak"

My alone time has gotten me to write stories, to paint, to choreograph, to think of advertising ideas, to ACTUALLY meditate on His Word and see things in a fresh perspective, my alone time has gotten me to question life, to imagine my future, and to just end up sleeping--and most of all, my alone time has gotten me to write this blog! :P 

This fourth point already supports my fifth point which is:



5. INTROVERTS LIKE ME ARE MOSTLY CREATIVE AND ARTISTIC. BECAUSE WE KINDA OVERTHINK.

I have my silent moments. I swear I can't believe I can't even control my silence.

But in my silence, it doesn't mean I am not paying attention, my silence usually means I AM PAYING TOO MUCH ATTENTION. Yup. I'm overthinking what just happened or what has been said.

And because I am paying TOO MUCH attention and my mind runs wild, I collect a lot of information. I pick bits and pieces of information everywhere.  I am helplessly a silent chismosa.

And all these information I get make me feel something.

And that feeling inspires me to write something, or do something maybe artistically.

Or maybe not. <wink, wink>


6. INTROVERTS LIKE ME ARE VERY OBSERVANT!

My keen observance with people has gotten the best of me in acting and impersonating people. Hahaha! If we're close, I can probably impersonate you already! :D MEHE.






I could add more to the list, but these are just the first few things I can only think of. If you feel like adding more points to this, you could share me your thoughts on the comment sections below :)


So my point is, actually wala akong point (charot). My point is, we need to understand each other more and we need to be aware that there's not really like a specific set of traits limited to either if you're an introvert or an extrovert.

Just like in every cliché, everyone is unique and everyone deserves to be understood better. Just because you're not a shy person, doesn't mean you are automatically an extrovert. Just because you're talkative and bubbly (like me), doesn't necessarily make you an extrovert.

It's just that we all have different ways of keeping ourselves energized and we shouldn't force others to think the same way as we are. Or we shouldn't judge them for feeling tired or for being too makulit. I don't know where this paragraph is going...so before I get lost in my thoughts (again), just like to say thank you for stumbling into this blog and giving some minutes of your life.

'Til next time,

Chiao!

My two-cents: Unlabeled Relationships

So it's been a while since I last wrote in this blog(....that nobody reads.) Yeah yeah, I'm okay with that. (ugly cries)

As I was thinking about what to write about for now in this blog (...that nobody reads), I thought that maybe we should discuss about important things that weigh a lot......................

ME! There goes my self-esteem jokes. And I cannot handle it.

The first thing that comes up to mind is (ba-dum-tss!) Unlabeled relationships that remain unlabeled for too long. 

Disclaimer: Not that I've been there. Or ,not that I've NOT been there. (wink wink) But here's to writing to the young girls (fine, and young boys) out there who are about to explore or are exploring this mysterious (unstable, cruel, and heartbreaking) black hole of love......the label-less relationship status.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. So here's mine: Unlabeled relationships shouldn't even be considered a relationship in the first place. 

Hold your horses, I know many would disagree, I suggest you write your thoughts on the comments below. 

I'm just blessed that God blessed me with a mature and loving boyfriend who was man enough to define our relationship to our families, friends, our church and most of all, the world! The universe, rather. 


We all pretty much know that there's always someone who is usually always playing the guessing game in un-labeled relationships. And that is never fair..especially nowadays, that the "trend" is "Parang tayo pero hindi." 

Usually the woman gets confused whether she is supposed to act as if she is still being courted (thus, a little pakipot) or if she should act like a girlfriend already (because that's what guys in un-labelled relationship always demand/expect from the girl) The thing about labels is similar to "knowing your job description." Or else, you're lost.

People are scared of labels because they don't want the commitment yet or they don't feel like holding a responsibility yet. They are scared of the "job description." 


Kumbaga, mga "interns" lang. "Try ko lang ganern" or baka ma-Sam Milby ka: "I never said, that I love you"....Charot.....

And if you feel like you are still scared of labels, then you are not ready for a relationship yet. THEN DO NOT ENTER ONE. Unless, you wanna get hurt or you wanna hurt someone.

No one deserves to be left hanging. Everyone of us deserves to know where we stand in someone's life. People may say that 'Labels are just mere words and the important thing is you know the feelings and understand your importance to someone. Blah blah.'

BUT putting a label would determine your boundaries on expressing your self to the other person. It is as important as your feelings to someone.

And people, you know what you deserve. You deserve someone who's mature and genuine enough to tell you where you stand in his/her life. 

Don't just give your everything to someone who isn't even brave enough to give you what you deserve. Do not be too intimate with someone who can't commit to you. 

Remember we were taught that intimacy is not the foundation of the relationship. Commitment is. Intimacy is only the reward of commitment.

Above all else, know your worth. 

You are the sons and daughters of The King so go out there and wear your crowns! 

You deserve better!

When God Doesn't Make Sense

Photo by wordpress.com

Moving from Grief to Grace.

When tragedy strikes, questions just start to follow. And it's just honest to admit that there are those moments in life where we feel like God isn't making any sense...like, failure in an important exam you've prepared for so long, loss of friendship, being cheated on, abuse, bankruptcy, betrayal by the person you love the most, diagnosis of a terminal disease, death of a loved one, and the list goes on. 

Mine was when I dealt with the death of my own father. I remember that exact moment at the 2nd floor of Philippine Heart Center, I was running towards mom who was talking tearfully to the nurse beside her...my heart was beating so fast, I knew my mom was about to tell me something...something that will scar me forever.

And there, I screamed. You know how it felt? Every part of my mind, my body, my heart, my spirit, my soul--every molecule of my being just ached from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet. It was if every cell in me was desperately screaming in protest, "NO! NO! NO! NO! TELL ME YOU ARE LYING! THIS CANNOT BE TRUE!"

That has already been four years ago. Until now the pain of it remains real. Sometimes, I still sleep in tear-stained pillows. 

But there's a great thing called "grace" and "purpose" that strengthens me to smile in the morning. Life goes on.

This morning I woke up to a heartbreaking news that infantile leukemia took the precious life of an 8 month-old baby (the only daughter of one of our faithful church workers). And I sat on my bed blankly, wondering...WHY?

These are the moments one can't help but cry out to God and ask Him real (and somehow rude) questions...like, "Why are You not making sense to me anymore?" "What happened to Your miracles?"

Then I pause and ask myself..."Wait. Is it even legal to ask God these questions?"

But then in the process of moving from GRIEF to GRACE, one's first step is ASKING QUESTIONS. 

Good news is...

GOD UNDERSTANDS MY QUESTIONS.

We are so blessed that the God that we serve is not a kind of merciless god who will send a glorious thunder to strike down anyone who ever doubts and questions him...but rather, our God is a God that is full of mercy, love and understanding. God is a father who will embrace us and wipe our tears and tell you, "Andito lang Ako." God will listen to our questions--no matter how rude it may even seem to be. 

Because God understands us when we do not understand our circumstances. God wants to hear our hearts.


Even Job asked these kind of questions, when he lost his family as well as his health and possessions. 

At one point in Job 3:21, Job asked God, "Why is light given to him in misery, and life to the bitter of soul?" 

Then in Job 6:11 he asks, "What strength do I have that I should even hope in You?" 

And in Job 10:3, "Does it seem good to You that You should allow pain and persecution?"

And what makes his story interesting is that God didn't answer him right away. It took a while.

And He did. He answered in an unexpected way. God turns the tables and asked Job questions as well:

“Who is this that obscures my plans
    with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.

4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
    Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
    Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
    or who laid its cornerstone—
7 while the morning stars sang together
    and all the angels[a] shouted for joy?

8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
    when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
    and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
    and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
    here is where your proud waves halt’?

12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
    or shown the dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
    and shake the wicked out of it?
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
    its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
    and their upraised arm is broken.

16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
    or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
    Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
    Tell me, if you know all this.

19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
    And where does darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
    Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
    You have lived so many years!

2

37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
    Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
38 when the dust becomes hard
    and the clods of earth stick together?

39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
    and satisfy the hunger of the lions
40 when they crouch in their dens
    or lie in wait in a thicket?
41 Who provides food for the raven
    when its young cry out to God
    and wander about for lack of food?

God's answer to Job (actually, God's questions to Job) all point out to this: "I am sovereign. I am powerful. And I know what I am doing. I am love. I love you, my child, I understand your pain. Give me your pain.  Be still and just let me be the God of your life."

It's okay to cry out of weakness and hopelessness in prayer...as long as it is in prayer. Because in prayer, we can be real to ourselves and God will surely be real to you. There are things we will never understand of course. Our ability to understand is only that of a human. And there are questions where answers will not be found during our lifetime. Sometimes, your questions will be the mystery that will motivate and inspire us to keep seeking the Face of God. 

But the greatest comfort of it all is that God is real. Heaven is real.  Eternity is real. 

The miracle wasn't my father getting healed from heart disease and surviving cardiac arrest, the miracle was Mom, my little sister and I being able to stand back up in our feet to not only move forward with our lives, but to also move upward in our lives! 

And what ever our life questions may be, Jesus is the answer. And it is Jesus (and Jesus only) who can carry you through the toughest times in life. So whenever you feel like God doesn't make any sense, whenever you feel impatient about God not answering your prayers, remember to put it all in prayers and in prayers only, do not let it turn you to things that will only harm you, "Above all else, it is the peace of God which surpasses all understanding that will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

ONWARD AND UPWARDS!