REAL TALK: Artist Problems

I have this weird habit of like in mid-conversation, I suddenly get an "article idea" or I reflect on a quote I just heard or I suddenly imagine how my next painting would look like. Then in my mind, I start unconsciously zoning-out from my friends' conversations to process the idea in my head, and then when I come back, I'm like scratching my head like "I have no idea what you guys are talking about now."

And they roll their eyes and go "Oh, she's doing it again."

Sorry :>

MILESTONE: Happy 1st Career Anniversary

I love meeting celebrities—who doesn't? The thrill that comes along with talking to celebrities and successful businessmen, sitting down and getting to know more about them on a personal level is something that each writer like me looks forward to. It is as if you are privy and very much welcome to know who they really are as normal human beings before they transform into those glamorously perfect and unreachable gods and goddesses on television.

I am and I have always been a creature of CURIOSITY—so innate that it keeps me hungry for mysterious things—like unread books, roads that are less taken and most of all, people that have stories to tell—and that is—everyone.

Growing up in a very sheltered and safe environment (Christian family, Christian school, missionary lifestyle, all-girls college) has altogether kept me naïve, gullible and seemingly clueless about the real world for sooooooooooooo long—UNTIL I unexpectedly  got myself into a high-fashion publishing company as a writer—which position was like a golden key to enter a world that is so glamorous but so messed up, a world where all those glitters, embellishments, spotlights, studio lights, camera flashes that can be so pleasant to the eye, but can be dangerous enough to blind me, a world the people I thought only lived inside our living room’s television sets were the same people I now rub arms with, talk to, make friends with and hang out on restaurants, cafes and even lounge with inside their own homes—it could get overwhelming—so overwhelming, that I always find myself in a state of shock.

But for every dream, there will be nightmares—things that keep me from floating in cloud nine, things that remind me that this glamorous world is also full of dug pits, traps, set-ups and dark wicked schemes altogether awaiting for me to make a single wrong move, just so they can finally attack.

Nevertheless who’s to fear all those when I know that it was God Himself Who has brought me here? In my first year of being exposed to the so-called “showbiz,” I discovered a very important lesson.  And that is…THOSE WHO HUNGER FOR GOD’S WORD ARE NOT ONLY THOSE WHO HUNGER FOR FOOD. I think we should break the common connotation that “missionaries” are only meant for the field of the poor, the oppressed and the less-prioritized. God also needs missionaries that can go out and share His Word in the world of the rich, the glorified and the highly-prioritized—the modern-day Babylon, as what I always like to call it.

Because I have seen that even the people in the highest places can feel lost and searching—they feel like they lack something in life but they never know what it is exactly. They achieve everything, every acting award, every endorsement and they own so many riches in the world—but as what they tell me, they can never be fully happy. Whenever I ask these people about what they still want in life, being that they have everything, they usually answer me with “Parang never pa ako nakukuntento sa buhay. Parang may malaking void pa sa life ko na di pa nafi-fill eh. Pero di ko alam kung ano yun, gets mo?”

And yes, I get it—and now I do understand exactly why God placed me here. 

Photo (c) Jessica Murphy

REAL TALK: Daydream

I USED TO DAYDREAM A LOT ABOUT GROWING UP. Because I thought, that maybe when I grow up, there wouldn't be mean kids to pick on me and laugh at my flaws anymore, and that I wouldn't have to walk the halls with my head down again. I thought that meanness only existed in childhood. I thought that if I strive to be the best version of myself—if I study real hard in college and eventually get a great career, I’d never ever face bullies again.

But now that I've grown, I learned we all can never outgrow meanness—that no matter how old you are, no matter how successful you can be, no matter where you are in the corporate ladder or no matter how many people you have helped or inspired, there will always always ALWAYS be people out there who’ll make you feel small with their biiig faaat unsolicited opinions—people who’ll make you feel like you don’t deserve to be where you are, people who’ll criticize you not for your improvement, but only to make you want to quit. They’re the ones who don’t really have anything to do with you—they’re not your boss, not your colleagues, not even your readers/followers or even your friends at least, but somehow it seems like their role and goal in life is to just hate on you.

Well lately, I've been meeting those kinds of people myself. And I know that somewhere along the way, I’ll be seeing them again and I’ll be hearing from them again.

Now I try to understand that it’s not in my job description to please them. I finally learned that we can never control meanness, there will always be that, but we can always choose the way we treat the people around us. I hope you use your choice very wisely and I hope that when you grow up and meet more of life’s bullies, you’ll remember that THE ONLY THING THAT HATERS CAN DO TO YOU IS MOTIVATE YOU TO BECOME BETTER.