REAL TALK: Got Bullied? Me too.

The ugly truth is that I have been the butt of people’s jokes when I was younger—I had my hair pulled until I was forced to crawl in the floor, I ate lunch alone, and I've been called the most hurtful names that my flaws were all out, feasted and made fun of by people. Yes, I've been bullied.

I was once a target and I think I know firsthand what it is to feel alone and to completely hate myself. I knew how it is to wake up every single day and dread the thought of having to deal with hurtful words and rejection. I hated the feeling of having to walk home miserable and I just couldn't tell my parents how bad my day went because I didn't want them to get involved in it. I cried myself to sleep every night. I faced this battle alone.

If you ask me why I was bullied, I never really knew why. Girls would call me fat and ugly. They would call me stupid. They didn't think I was cool or pretty enough, so they stopped talking to me.

I was such a loner to the point that
the only friends I had were my bunch of notebooks.  I turned to writing. My notebooks sort of served as an outlet for me where I could cry my heart out and filter uncontainable emotions.

Then I turned to arts. I remember drawing the tissue cylinder tube that was placed in the middle of the room. Being alone was just so boring that I started to draw even ALL the smallest folds and details I could see—I think that was the time someone noticed my potential for arts and asked me to compete for our school. 

I was dead-quiet during that lonely phase of mine, but deep inside I knew to myself that the real me was friendly. I knew that I was the outgoing, sociable person, but the situation I was in did not give me the chance to go out there and be who I am. Then I decided to audition for speech and drama. From there I competed for the school nationally and internationally, as well.

Things turned out pretty well. Apparently, while they were pushing me down physically, they were at the same time pushing me to want to become a better person. I think that whenever we find ourselves in situations that we cannot change, I believe that we can always focus on the only thing that we can change—and that is ourselves, how we react to the situation and how we deal it.   

I've heard stories of bullying where the victim would end up taking his or her own life with alcohol and drugs, or would even cut themselves. I've seen kids who gave up on their dreams because someone told them they can’t. I know that there were students who ended up as dropouts from school just because they were bullied. And I don’t ever want to hear another set of stories like that ever again.

To all the bullies out there, I ask that before you do anything bad to that person you don’t like, put yourself in the victim’s shoes. Treat that person the way you want to be treated.Telling someone that she is ugly won’t make you any prettier. It, in fact, makes you uglier. Telling someone that s/he is stupid, does that make you wise? Be wise. Apologize.

And to all of you out there who might be experiencinggetting bullied, keep your hearts up! Even superheroes started out as “losers”and “dorks” right?

You know why? It is because they are different. There is a reason you were not meant to be ordinary. There is a reason you will be hated by the ordinary. Hold onto your uniqueness like it's the most precious thing you can never have again if you give up on it. And one day, someone like you needs to see that you made it out just fine. You need to tell them it will be all right. I think that when we’re in our twenties, we would be raising up the next generation by our example (whether we like it or not), so make your words and actions count.

Looking back, I learned that who you were in high school or elementary would NEVER define who you are going to be in the future. I know someone who was popular in her school because she was beautiful, but she was too obsessed with the way she looks that she lost focus and failed all her subjects in college, got kicked out, and ended up working as a waitress. I know a very diligent and smart boy who was picked on because he was a “nerd,” but now he turned out to be a successful businessman/CEO.

It sucks that we will never outgrow bullies, Mom told me that no matter where we live or what we do, no matter what our job is, there’s always going to be people who will be mean to us — someone who will insult us in our faces or behind our backs. But at the end of the day, it is not our job to please anyone. We need to keep reminding ourselves that we live only for the audience of One—that is no other than GOD.

October is Anti-Bullying Awareness Month. Take part! 

If you're the victim, speak out for yourself. Talk to your parents, your professors, or someone whom you trust. If you're the bully, quit it! 

NOTE:  I’d like to point out that I have NOT mentioned any name, nor have I given any clues about who those bullies were. But if you think you were part of it, don’t worry. I actually would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart.....thank you for pushing me. Thank you for pushing me to become the person I have always dreamed of becoming.

LOVE IS LOUDER THAN THE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT.