What It Takes to Forgive

Forgiveness—such an abused, over-used underrated word that takes a second to utter, but takes almost a lifetime to do. 

Because even when JUST the memory of that offense done to us suddenly comes back again, we can't help but suddenly feel exactly the pain we've felt before. 

We end up broken. We end up bitter. 

And to us, the world seems so unfair because it's not even our fault. It's like picking up the pieces of the mess someone else made.

When Ptr. John Macadangdang talked about 'The Power of Forgiveness' last Sunday, I sat there thinking to myself: So is it really possible to forgive? How can forgiveness restore whatever has been ruined? How are we sure that we have already forgiven the person when the pain of the offense done still hurts the same? 

Probably we've been doing it wrong. Maybe we mistakenly think we've already forgiven when we've brushed all the offenses and hurts under the rug (in Filipino "pinalalampas na lang")...but this is where roots of bitterness starts to take over, this is where 'hurts' become 'inner hurts' which will be harder to deal with.  What if one day, every pain we've brushed off under the rug blows up destructively in our faces?

This is NOT the kind of "forgiveness" that God has called us to. It was an 'AHA!' moment when Ptr. John pointed out a verse in Ephesians 4:32 that says we are called to "forgive one another as God in Christ forgave you." 

How did Christ forgive us? Look back at the cross.  Jesus forgave us, not minding the pain He had to suffer for us, because of a bigger purpose...and that is to spare us from Hell, to give us eternal life and to open a way to God. No matter how many times we break His heart, Jesus chases us with forgiveness. 

Rather than magnifying the pain the person caused you, LOOK AT THE BIGGER PURPOSE of forgiving. 

Magnifying on the pain and nursing the bitterness can only bring you the sense of insecurity, bring you trust issues and thoughts of revenge...all to the point that you do things that could dishonor God. 

Joseph the Dreamer's life is the perfect case study of forgiveness. He was betrayed 4 times; by his brothers, by Potiphar's wife, by Potiphar and by the chief cupbearer. But despite of all the injustices that happened to Joseph, he had kept his integrity intact. He was careful not to do anything that could dishonor God. Ptr. John shared Joseph's secret to forgiving truly. Joseph looked at his situation from God's eyes. Joseph saw that everything that happened to him was in fact part of God's plan to save lives. He did not put his life to waste by sulking in bitterness and plotting revenge in anger. He saw things from His Throne's vantage point.

In this life, we will eventually get hurt at times, people will fail us. 

BUT there is a choice! Either we react in bitterness or we respond in forgiveness. 

Remember that real forgiveness isn't shrugging things away, but real forgiveness is dealing with the pain and admitting to God and to that person that you're hurt. That confession WILL release you from the trap you are in. No matter how that person will react, if s/he takes it or leave it, you have done your part and now you can go on walking without any pebble in your shoe. 

Go and declare Genesis 50:20 over all your struggles and anger, "You have intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good."

By God's grace, we will again be able at the person who hurt us with God's loving eyes.

"Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins." 

Now with His unfailing love in your heart, you'll find yourself standing by those people who hurt you, because you were called to be the light that will not tolerate sin but will lead them to right path, because that's exactly how Jesus loved us.

Forgiving is not always instant. We learn  in life that forgiving could be a journey...a process of learning how to trust again, how to be complete again. Forgiveness could also be a healing battle between yourself and your memories, especially when you know you've forgiven the person but the pain of the offense stays with you.   

It takes a strong heart to look beyond all mistakes and offenses and to see the good in every person. 

It takes humility to let go of anger and the thoughts of getting even. 

It takes a love like Christ's to forgive completely. And by 'completely,' I also mean forgiving yourself from holding on the pain of those memories. 

  

Hear the sermon on this here: 
http://jesusflock.org/2015/08/27/what-it-takes-to-forgive-ptr-john-macadangdang/